There is something magical about pulling open a Christmas cracker. You get a silly hat, a tiny toy, and a joke that makes you laugh or groan. These little slips of paper hold a special kind of holiday cheer. Whether you are sitting at the dinner table, playing games with family, or passing time by the fire, a funny one-liner always adds sparkle to the season.
This article is packed with over 100 of the best Christmas Cracker Jokes​ to brighten your holidays. Some are cheesy. Some are clever. All are guaranteed to bring a smile. So grab a hot chocolate, sit back, and enjoy the laughter.
Classic Christmas Cracker Jokes Everyone Loves
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective
Santa Clues
What do you call a snowman in the summer
A puddle
Why did the turkey join the band
Because it had the drumsticks
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots
He was picking his nose
What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations
Tinselitis
What do elves use to take notes in school
Their elf-abet
What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk
Jingle smells
Why does Santa go down chimneys
Because it soots him
Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting
It kept dropping its needles
What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band
The Who
Short and Snappy Holiday Jokes
What do snowmen eat for lunch
Iceburgers
Why is it cold at Christmas
Because it is Decembrrrrr
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman
Frostbite
How do you know Santa is good at karate
Because he has a black belt
What’s Santa’s dog’s name
Santa Paws
What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas
Sandy Claws
What did Mrs Claus say to Santa when he looked sad
Sleigh it ain’t so
What’s green and sings
Elvis Parsley
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck
A Christmas quacker
What do you call a broke Santa
Saint Nickel-less
Family Friendly Cracker Jokes
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride
A Holly Davidson
Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital
Because he has private elf care
What do you call Santa’s little helpers
Subordinate clauses
How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit
Nurse them back to elf
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees
Horn-aments
Why did the Christmas cake go to school
To become a smartie pie
Why did Rudolph get a bad report card
Because he went down in history
What’s the best Christmas present
A broken drum
You just cannot beat it
Why did the elf wear earmuffs
Because he did not want to listen to the Christmas cracker jokes
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing
Because they always drop their needles
Cracker Jokes for the Dinner Table
What do crackers say when they meet
Let’s pop open and share a laugh
Why did the sprouts sit alone at the party
Because they are not everyone’s favorite
Why did the Christmas pudding go to therapy
It had too many mixed feelings
Why was the gravy upset
Because everything was getting too dry
Why did the fork and knife argue at Christmas
Because they had too much on their plate
What’s a cranberry’s favorite type of joke
A fruit pun
What did the turkey say to the ham
I am stuffed
Why did the mince pie blush
Because it saw the custard
What happened when the Brussels sprout told a joke
It got roasted
What do you call a cracker without a joke
A disappointment
Silly Santa and Reindeer Jokes
What do reindeer say before telling a joke
This one’s going to sleigh you
What do you call a reindeer who tells jokes
A stand-up Comet-ian
How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free
He uses Claus-tarch
Why did Santa enroll in art school
He wanted to improve his elf-portrait
What’s Santa’s favorite type of music
Wrap
Why does Santa go to music class
To improve his ho ho harmony
What do reindeer use to keep their fur neat
Comet and brush
What do you get if you cross Santa with a shark
Santa Jaws
What’s Santa’s favorite sport
Sleigh racing
Why does Santa always come back to town
Because he nose when you are sleeping
Snowman Jokes That Never Melt
How do snowmen get around
They ride an icicle
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack
An abdominal snowman
What’s a snowman’s favorite snack
Ice Krispies
What did the snowman say to the other snowman
Do you smell carrots
What kind of ball does a snowman love
A snowball
Why was the snowman happy
Because he saw the snow angel
Why don’t snowmen ever fight
Because they let things slide
What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast
Frosted flakes
What did the snowflake say in the interview
I am one of a kind
What do you call a snowman’s dog
A slush puppy
Cheesy Wordplay from Crackers
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting
Because they always lose their needles
What kind of music do elves listen to
Wrap music
What is Santa’s favorite kind of pizza
Deep pan crisp and even
What’s the best Christmas carol in the bakery
Dough come all ye faithful
Why do ghosts love Christmas
Because of the spirit of the season
What’s a snowman’s favorite dessert
Ice cream and chill
What do you get when you cross mistletoe and a duck
A Christmas quacker
How does an elf clean its hands
With Santa-tizer
Why did the bauble go to school
To become a little brighter
What is the best way to enjoy Christmas Cracker Jokes
With a loud laugh and a warm heart
Christmas Crackers Around the World
In Australia
What do you call a kangaroo on Christmas
A jingle roo
In Canada
What does a Canadian snowman wear
An ice hockey jersey
In the UK
What do you call a polite turkey
A proper gobbler
In the USA
Why did the Christmas tree go to Hollywood
Because it wanted to be a star
In Ireland
Why did the elf go to the pub
For a pint of cheer
In Germany
What do German elves eat at Christmas
Schnitzel and sparkle
In France
What do you get when Santa visits Paris
Père Noël and pastries
Final Thoughts on Christmas Cracker Jokes
Christmas is a time for love. A time for family. And of course, a time for laughter. Whether your jokes are groan-worthy or giggle-worthy, there is no denying that Christmas Cracker Jokes bring people together. They make dinner more fun. They make the silence joyful. And sometimes, they give us something to laugh about long after the holidays are over.
So keep this list handy. Pull it out during your holiday meal. Or share it with friends when you want to bring some cheer. After all, laughter is the best gift of all.
If you enjoyed these Christmas Cracker Jokes, feel free to share them. And remember, the more you laugh, the merrier you are.
